


I'm breaking up with you (lame title I know)

by Lindsey7618



Category: Shadowhunters, The Mortal Instruments, the shadowhunters chronicles
Genre: Breakup, Burning, Constructive criticism is always appreciated though!!, Cutting, Depression, Heartbreak, IT WAS ALEC'S GUILT, Its okay if you don't like this but please don't be rude to me it really affects me, M/M, MAGNUS WOULD NEVER SAY THIS IN CANON OR IN MY STORY, Malec breakup, No Spoilers, Please don't leave hate comments, Post City of Lost Souls, Post CoLS, Self Harm, city of heavenly fire - Freeform, city of lost souls, depressed, set in CoHF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 21:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13373763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindsey7618/pseuds/Lindsey7618
Summary: "I'm breaking up with you."Alec stared at Magnus and blinked. ''You're- what?""I'm breaking up with you." Magnus shrugged carelessly. "You just aren't worth it anymore."





	I'm breaking up with you (lame title I know)

**Author's Note:**

> So this sucks lmao but feedback and better title suggestions would be appreciated.
> 
> EDIT: so I've gotten some hate on this fic. I've added a note about that at the end.

"I'm breaking up with you."

Alec stared at Magnus and blinked. ''You're- what?"

"I'm breaking up with you." Magnus shrugged carelessly. "You just aren't worth it anymore."

Alec blinked rapidly as his words caught in his throat. "I'm- not?"

Magnus laughed harshly. "Did you ever honestly think you were?" He raised an eyebrow when Alec remained silent. "Oh, how cute. You did. Well Alexander darling, I can assure you that you're not. You never have been. I don't know how you ever thought you were worth a single thing, but you're not."

I don't know how you ever thought you were worth a single thing, but you're not.

"But- I-" Alec shook his head. "I don't understand, you told me you were happy with me, you told me you loved me, I thought-"

"You thought." Magnus laughed cruelly. "Yes, you thought. You were wrong. You were just a toy in my hands, Alexander."

"Oh," Alec whispered. "Oh." He looked up at the warlock, who was looking like he was enjoying this.

"You never meant a thing to me, Lightwood. Sorry, but you just weren't good enough. You weren't anywhere near good enough. I thought it might be fun to play with you for a while, but I got bored."

"Magnus," Alec pleaded. "But I thought what we had was real-" The tears were blurring his vision and he could barely manage to get any words out.

Magnus shrugged simply. "It wasn't. You don't deserve me, I'm too good for you. All those scars, bruises, those burns on your skin? You deserved them."

"You told me I didn't," Alec choked out. His head was spinning, the room moving around him. Why was this happening to him?

"I lied. Honestly I thought you deserved them, especially for being so ugly and fat. I never really found you attractive. Sorry, but I'm done with you Alec."

Alec took a sudden step back, thoughts whirling around in his head, but he stumbled and fell against the wall. Sliding down, he wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his head in the crook of his elbow. "Please leave," he whispered, hot tears sliding down his cool skin. "Please just leave"-

Alec sat upright, hands scrambling for the light switch. "A dream," he gasped out, taking in small breaths. "Just a dream."

He flipped the light on and squinted as bright light illuminated the room. Pressing his back against the wall he tried to steady his breathing. Magnus's face was flashing through his mind and all he wanted was to run his hands through the warlock's hair as he pulled him close, but reality hit him slowly, and then all at once. Magnus had left him. Tears burned his eyes as his vision blurred. He hadn't meant to hurt Magnus, he had never been going to shorten his life, but he understood why Magnus left him anyway. But it hurt, _fuck_ , it hurt.

He let out a long breath and lied back down. But no matter how long he tried, sleep escaped him and he found himself staring up at the ceiling as the early morning light shone in through the curtains. This is all my fault, he thought miserably. I did this to myself.

His thoughts wandered over to the burning sensation on his skin. One minute he was in bed and the next, he was standing over his sink watching drops of red swirl down the drain. He looked down at the red staining the porcelain as empty thoughts clouded his mind. There was nothing else left to do.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave some feedback!
> 
> EDIT: about the hate- I am not racist!! There is nothing in this story or any of my others to even remotely suggest that! I didn't "vilify" Magnus because of his color and that accusation really pisses me off. About Alec self harming- I am NOT taking advantage of self harm for "white boy angst" or whatever it was that person said. They accused me of hurting the people who actually do self harm. IM ON EOF THOSE PEOPLE. I know EXACTLY what its like to hate yourself so much that you stand over a sinkncutting into your wrists with tears streaming down your face. Ive been in that situation before. This was an accurate description of self harm and you can't tell me otherwise!
> 
> Anyway, thank you so fucking much to all the people who left positive reviews and support!! It means a lot to me. I doubted myself after the hate but I shouldn't have and you guys (my readers/the nice commenters) are awesome. For anyone on any of my stories who's asked or expressed concern, I'm nowhere near okay (hence the cutting into my own skin and writing as an alternative) but I'm in therapy and I'm trying, so don't worry and thank you! Of anyone else ever needs someone to talk to I'm always willing to listen! My tumblr is causeyoureabouttomisseverything if anyone wants it.


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